Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
