why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
