My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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