maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
