im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
