But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
what the fuck happened to the tacos
ok first of all what the fuck
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
