vagina is talking i cant
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
