Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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