I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
