Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize