K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
