i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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