I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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