O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
