I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
