Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
