operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
