she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
3 2 1 whiskey
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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