Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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