playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
