Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
