May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
