I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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