11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
