They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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