Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
