Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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