i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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