it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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