I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the day after is always just damage control
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Randomize
