it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
