That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it was like eating out sand paper
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
