Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
