The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
