remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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