I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
