at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i drank out of a bidet.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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