Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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