wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
