Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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