Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
this boner is exhausting
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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