No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
