It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
