I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
