On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
