who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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