I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
