My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
