I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
being pregnant is like rehab
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
