how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
