I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
