his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
